We live in a culture that thrives on fear and the threat of scarcity. From our early childhood, we are seduced by advertising and marketing to believe that we are lacking, that we do not have enough, that more is the answer to our restlessness. Of course, we quickly forget the wisdom of Augustine: our hearts are restless until they rest in Thee.
I cannot say that I have every truly lacked anything. Now, that is not to say that I have not wallowed in self-pity or the perception of lack. But, in growing maturity, I can say truthfully that I have never lacked, never gone hungry, never been without provision of some kind. Have I feared the lack? Yes, and powerfully so. Fear of scarcity is what compelled me to seek an education. A false sense of pride in autonomy, independence, has only led to my own misery in several instances. The truth is that we need each other, like it or not. In the last few years I have known the fear of "what if" on many occasions. I have known the fear of scrapping for money for the next meal. I have known the fear of having no home and no way to provide safety for my family. But, God has provided. In fact, God has more than provided. I have known some incredible, mind blowing acts of generosity over the last few years which has shattered my German sense of self reliance and pride. This is the key to remembrance for me.
Our devotion asks that we remember the stories in our lives. As Sue Monk Kidd advises, when our stories die, we can't remember who we are or why we are here. Many people prefer to live in the rear-view mirror, especially in the church, in a most unhealthy way. Many love to romanticize the good old days and conveniently gloss over the tougher times. But true remembrance does not leave us stuck; it propels us forward in trust, in boldness with the assurance that scarcity will not prevail. True remembrance reminds us of who we are, where we have been, and Who has been with us for each step.
I think one key to overcoming our fear of scarcity and the seduction of "more" is to live with a sense of gratitude. That seems to be the goal of healthy remembering. We all admit that we take so much for granted and we do. We do not pause to remember that we have passed through many valleys and still stand strong this day. Gratitude impels me from the pit of whatever present circumstances seem unsavory to a sense of liberation that has prevailed and is woven in my life.
I strive each day to "keep the picture frame small." That is, I try not to worry about what is coming tomorrow or what has been yesterday. The general sense of provision and liberation in my story of walking with God is enough to sustain me, to evoke gratitude, and to allow me to be present for what must be done (chores) along with what I want to do (play). The blissful balance between these two overrides the fear of scarcity.
I remember standing in front of a monument at Dachau that says simply - Never Again. It is written in five languages so that most who visit can read it. The hope is that, in remembering the Holocaust, we will never allow something similar to happen again. So too, in my own life, I think it is important to remember not only the good times, but the times when I have made mistakes, when I have not followed the Way. In remembering my mistakes, I am reminded that God forgives, that God provides for me anyway.
ReplyDeleteSo true, Sophia. This past year has seen my life turn upside down, and occasionally inside out. I "lost" what was never mine to hold, but was an idealized vision I had created for myself. I was so smug when I saw others and thought, "at least I still have_____." When that which I based my perception of myself left, I was truly devastated. Yet, in the empty place that I had filled with my own pride, I have had the transforming love of God, of my sisters and brothers in Christ, and my blood and adopted family overflow. We SHOULD learn from our mistakes; they bring us back to God's path for us, and shake us out of our complacency. I may regret that I had to learn some things the hard way, but I do not regret that I have been given the gift of growth. Praise God that He does love us and does provide what we need!
ReplyDeleteI've been down and out before. Many times. Most of these times were due to circumstances beyond my control. Other times they were due to making an unequivocal commitment to my principles and not compromising them for a relationship. To say that I have ever lacked anything? I don't think so. John the Baptist had locusts and honey and wore camel hair. I suppose I've lived off of 69 cent Honey Buns and convenience store hot dogs before. A lot of folks like to throw around the Christian cult of perception as though it is nothing more than a game. It is, but the price is all or nothing.
ReplyDelete'If any man come to me, and hate not his father, and mother, and wife, and children, and brothers, and sisters, yea, and his own life also, he cannot be my disciple.'
What are we being asked to do here? Who can hear these words and discuss them in an idle way? This is an extremely vulnerable space that hardly anyone can contemplate much less execute when called. I submit that at this level, being a Christian requires a devotion to growth, a grafting within the vine which transcends the illusory nature of the world we find ourselves in. What do we lack? Nothing, we are human beings created in the likeness of God. I don't choose to believe this. I have to believe it and act accordingly, and with good humor.