We want to immediately answer this question as "yes, Lord, of course." Peter cavalierly exclaims that he is able. We often do the same, but I am not sure we understand any more than Peter did what it means to pick up our cross and follow Jesus. Of course, Peter's brazen claims were deflated when he denied even knowing Jesus not once but three times.
The simple mystical truth is that we cannot be a loving person and still want our way. We cannot lay down our wants, desires, expectations, thoughts, and ambitions without a humble, sacrificing love. The only glimpse I have of this reality comes in being a parent: understanding the depths to which I would go to protect my child, protect my family.
It is not an easy concept to wrap into words. And, the closest scriptural warrant seems to lie with the notion of self-emptying (kenosis). In this self-emptying we find surrender and new life. We are no longer imprisoned by our clutches on this world or its grasp of us. We no longer quake in the face of death. We know being in a purposed yet free way.
As many well known theologians have suggested, there is an Eternal Now to be discovered in emptiness. Yet, we rage against the dying of the light and we avoid this emptiness at all costs. We are burdened by the disease of "more" and we chase after creature comforts as if they will somehow one day satisfy us. We are gorged on our own self and its importance. Will you lay down your life for me? It is a question that causes us to swallow hard, breathe deeply, and take stock of where our real treasures lie.
There are surely those who can answer this question easily. I am not one of them. I am stupefied by the Cross. I find it hard to sing the hymn, "in the Cross of Christ I glory." I can feel the truth embedded there; but I wrestle with it and cannot find an array of words to do it justice. I truly grieve how we have made the Cross into a trinket so often. I grieve the star studded array of Cross laden accessories in our culture. I rail against the ease with which we toss this symbol around as if we had mastered its profound implications. I have no answers, only deep groans and sighs in prayer.
I think we tend to make the cross into an idol that we worship without fully understanding what it means. To give up self, to fully surrender to God, is not a task that comes easy to humans. In our culture we are so focused on our selves, on achievement, on our reputation, on accumulation of worldly goods. Can we give up all of this for the sake of another? for God? Would it be easier if we didn't have anything to begin with? At birth I had nothing but two loving parents. Since then I have accumulated much, but what is it all worth? It is not easy to give up what we have worked so hard to obtain, and yet those possessions are worth nothing in God's eyes.
ReplyDeleteI think, overall, that religion is trying to say something true about reality, about human experience. And I am reminded that the words and symbols aren't reality. Reality is sitting behind or beyond the words and the symbols. Perhaps the only way for many of us to gain increasing mastery of these symbols, and thus approach and increasingly articulate the reality behind it all, is to settle into--really settle into--our religion of origin, our native religious language. This is our best hope for true religious fluency. And the path in attaining that fluency is to submit to the symbols, inadequate as they are, so that those inadequacies might be transcended.
DeleteThey are a means to an end. I agree. At this point I suspect that those symbols allow us to travel to and from where ever that place is. Facing that vastness alone is something which we all must face. That journey from which no traveler returns. At least this is what I am told and how I understand it. For me personally, there has been a movement in my life where talking about this, that, and the other thing isn't so important and more than likely is a waste of time, perhaps even a sin. (James Chapter 3 come to mind ) I painfully understand the reality that, I don't have time and have had a late start. I agree that our 'native religious language,' which spans the generations, is our best hope and we should not cut ourselves off from it. Those infinite memories run deep and are extremely valuable and fascinating to put it mildly.
DeleteThis question, even as recently as just before reading this today, is a part of my psyche and offers a myriad of thoughts, the expression of which are beyond the scope of this forum.
ReplyDeleteIs this not the ultimate expression of passion? Of living in a dying world? The wages of sin are death. But what are the wages of love? What is the perfection of love? How is that expressed? Who is there to share that with? Can it be shared? Who or what would communicate the vastness of such an expression? If you love me, keep my commandments. What madness is this?
The trust one must have in friends, which is required to lay one's life down for friends, is an unfathomable mystery. Such devotion, such love. I keep in mind that these disciples knew Jesus in the flesh. Who do I know personally that I can say, I would die for you? Do I have the POWER to lay down my life? Do any of us have the power to lay down our lives? Jesus would say, yes. But for what cause?
This is not a wise thing to express and treat as an intellectual football.
I look at the context of this saying and I look at Jesus' lot in life. In this context I think I understand why he succumbed to this passion. (The ironies are deep and extremely tricky at this point in the testimony.)
Jesus said, 'I am the vine, and you are the branches.' God is the vintner. What does a vintner do? Does not the Bible illustrate that we who share in the life and death of Christ, are to be put in the winepress?
This question has affected me deeply for the better part of my Christian life. Are we able to drink from this cup? What did Jesus see? What did he really, genuinely see and know which allowed him to boldly step into that place, with sound mind and with self-control? He had no pity. Such strength! If each of us had just a glimpse of that reality, and actively and silently lived that day to day, can you imagine what work God would do here on earth? John was right. We have been loved.